what is like to have a guy friend as a roommate

Question

Is information technology incorrect for a Christian to have a roommate of the opposite sex activity?

Answer

Are opposite-sex activity roommates or housemates biblically allowable? Financial and social struggles lead many singles to consider rooming with friends of both genders, only Christians oftentimes wonder whether this is wise.

For the purposes of this article, nosotros will refer to "roommates" every bit those who share the aforementioned living space only who maintain a strictly platonic relationship with no romantic or sexual overtones. Sexually involved roommates are conspicuously in violation of God'south commands (ane Corinthians six:eighteen). Just if a man and a woman enjoy each other'south company, accept salubrious sexual boundaries, and would both benefit from sharing a house or apartment, is there a clear biblical commandment against being roommates? What if there are more than two people in the house or apartment, does that make any difference? Or what if the living arrangement is only intended for a few months or a yr, non for a longer term? How can Christians get near discerning the best way forrard in their particular situation?

Living arrangements were different when the Bible was penned, so no articulate-cutting command exists to accost having an opposite-sex roommate in any given scenario. Notwithstanding, that does not mean that in that location are no biblical principles we can utilize. When we know God and seek to delight Him, we want to know more the blank minimum. Nosotros want to hear His every whisper and seek to obey it.

In considering the issue of opposite-gender roommates, we should examine the following passages:

ane. Romans 13:14 says, "Only put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh in regard to its lusts" (NASB). To "make provision" means nosotros put ourselves into situations that our weak mankind may not be strong enough to gainsay. A 14-year-old boy and girl lying alone in the nighttime "watching a motion picture" are making provision for the flesh. They have put themselves in a compromising position where emotions and availability can combine for sinful effect. And so when two people of the opposite gender who already relish each other and get along well move in together and play firm as though they were married, they may be creating a situation neither expected. A girl walking through the house with just a towel wrapped effectually her may create unwanted desires in her roommate. A friendly comforting hug from the guy when she is upset tin can easily plough into more than in the correct atmosphere. A question that all opposite-sex roommates must answer honestly is this: might we exist making provision for the flesh in placing ourselves in such an intimate living situation?

2. First Corinthians 10:31–33 says, "Whether, then, you lot consume or potable or whatever you do, do all to the celebrity of God. Give no offense either to Jews or to Greeks or to the church of God; only as I also delight all men in all things, not seeking my ain profit only the profit of the many, so that they may be saved" (NASB, emphasis added). This is the kind of verse that separates carnal, baby Christians from those who truly desire to honor God. This verse frees us to limit ourselves, non past a listing of Do's and Don'ts, merely past the law of liberty (James two:12). To "give crime" is to be a stumbling cake; that is, to hinder someone'due south walk with God. The natural questions to accompany this poesy are these: by having an opposite-sex roommate, might I exist hindering someone'southward walk with God? Volition those who know I am a Christian believe I am committing sexual sin past living with this person? Would we be "giving criminal offence" to our families, our Christian friends, or our mentors? Are we glorifying God past living together as opposite-sexual activity roommates?

3. An fifty-fifty stronger warning about offenses was given past Jesus in Luke 17:1. "Things that crusade people to stumble are spring to come, just woe to anyone through whom they come up." God takes it very seriously when someone causes an unbeliever or baby Christian to turn away from truth and violate his or her conscience, and nosotros should take it seriously, too. God holds united states responsible to limit our own liberty in order not to cause others to stumble as they brand their way toward Jesus. Then the obvious question to ask ourselves is this: might my taking in an opposite-sex roommate limit my effectiveness as a Christian witness?

4. First Thessalonians 5:22 says, "Abjure from all appearance of evil" (KJV). Some translations apply the discussion form or kind rather than appearance, but the basic meaning of the verse is the same. This is a warning to avert evil birthday. Being aware of our witness to the earth and of our duty to support fellow believers, nosotros stay far abroad from anything that could lead u.s. or others to sin. Suppose a person is walking forth the very edge of the Grand Canyon, bold that he will not autumn over the side. Only that supposition is foolish because it'due south based upon factors outside his control, such as wind gusts, shoe malfunctions, dizziness, and rock slides. Showtime Thessalonians 5:22 instructs us to continue far away from the edge of the coulee so that we won't be toppled by factors exterior our feel or expectation. We should exist aware of our own tendencies toward sin. Rather than flirting with what could lead us into sin, we should take preventative measures to avert sin. Questions nosotros should ask are, is there anything nigh living as reverse-sexual activity roommates that has the appearance of evil? Will people who do not know us well assume that we are living in sexual sin—and will that hinder our witness?

For those who profess faith in Christ, lifestyle decisions often illustrate the validity of that profession. Culture speaks with a loud voice, but it always has. Believers hear the voices of Culture and Reason and Expediency, merely they are more than attuned to the vocalism of God in their lives. Jesus has chosen us out of the culture, to alive extraordinary lives filled with give up, struggle, and cocky-cede (Matthew 10:34–39; Romans 12:1–two). When we ask Him to rule our lives, and so everything nosotros do must laissez passer His inspection. He does not settle for just getting a vote in our decisions. Lordship is not a democracy. He is either Lord, or we are (Luke xvi:13). When faced with ambiguous situations, nosotros tin still detect answers in His Give-and-take if we truly want to observe them.

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This page last updated: Jan 4, 2022

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